Etiquette & Consent

Shibari Studio rules

creating safer spaces is best achieved with culture setting rather than policing and hard rules. For this reason, we have very few rules in the space – as long as activities are done with consent of those involved and with respect for the space and the people around you, then we are happy for you to carry on.

1 – Giving space

When people are tying, whether solo or with others, give them plenty of space for their ‘scene.’ If you would like to watch, keep to a reasonable distance and be unintrusive. In particular do not interrupt a scene to ask questions, touch people or their equipment (rope included).

2. Touching

Give and receive enthusiastic, active consent for activities and any kind of touching. We call these conversations ‘negotiation’.

Here are some tips:

  • Both parties must be informed of the activity’s risks before consenting
  • Ask what is okay and not okay
  • Clearly state what you like and dislike
  • When in doubt, don’t do the thing
  • Respect “no” (“no” is a complete sentence). Silence is not consent, freezing is not consent.
  • Mixed messages mean “no.”

More about negotiating (in finnish) in this article 

3. Using the suspension points

Use of the points is reserved for experienced people. If you see people suspending, they have very likely attended workshops or have received tuition here or elsewhere. Suspension is edge play. It is risky. Do not endanger yourself or others by suspending before you are ready. Respect when the staff ask you to stop suspending. Come ask us about classes if you’d like to learn!

What is consent?

Consent is clear, communicated, enthusiastic, the initiator’s responsibility and can be renegotiated or withheld at any time.

This means listening to each other, respecting each other and being mindful of all our interactions. Practicing consent is an important step in creating a culture we want to live in; a culture in which people are respected and have the autonomy to decide what is best for them.

We support and encourage folks to explore rope in safe, exciting, consensual ways. While doing this it is incredibly important to discuss safety, boundaries and care. Everyone deserves boundaries and safety when and if they choose to engage in rope. Your first partner is you. Knowing and exploring our boundaries is a lifelong conversation with ourselves.

4. Social Media

Studio Moth has a Discord Server for community Server is divided to different areas depending on if you are interested in our Shibari side of things or Cretive space / Moth Alive -shenanigans. The shibari related discussion areas have a few authentication stops before you can see the channels. The first thing you need to do when entering the server is introducing yourself at designated channel. This is to make things open and safe for everyone to share personal details regarding their relationship to tying. 

If you want to contact someone who doesn’t know you privately via Discord you always need to ask a permission on a public channel first.

5. House rules

As people come to tie from different backgrounds and intentions it is important to set the ground rules for the evening every time with everyone at the studio. This means having a clarity on if there will be loud impact play / torture rope for example and having a consensus with everyone around on where/how/when more intense sessions will be help so people can choose if they want to be around or not.

At the Studio we have 2 spaces and as a ground rule the upstairs is reserved for labbing and session tying with no nudity / genital play (except croutch rope) included. Door to downstairs is open 30min from the Jam start and after that the door closes for 2 hours or until people inside open it to show that it is OK to come inside. People starting sessions downstairs will have their own negotiation at the beginning on what are the ground rules for the evening. House staff may enter the space at any time to check the situation.

Some parts of this etiquette is based on article by Anatomie Studio, London.

Posted in general